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Previous entries

Only the Lonely

Nine Things I will Miss about Thailand

Circles

Just Do It

Ayr on a Shoestring

Oh Lonesome Me

Tipping Point

Movie Reviews

Putting Pen to Paper

A Year to Remember

A Year to Forget

10 Reasons I Cannot Go Home

China Girl

The State of Play

Veggies

Mind Your Language

New Horizons

Injustice

Honeymoon

Taxes and Death

Also-rans

Stinkhorns

Grey is the Colour

Beating Myself Up

Nothing More to Say

Better Late than Never

Staying Put

Musical Chairs

Wanderlust

A Dog's Life

A Sabbatical

A Welcome Diversion

A Guide to Business Ethics

Remembering the Austin Allegro

Our Lords and Masters

In Transit - Part 2

In Transit - Part 1

Nagging Doubts

While Bangkok Burns

An Evening to Remember

Thai Business Malpractice

The New and the Old

Christmas Lights

Groundhog Day

Singapura

Possessions

Adventure is Out There

Education

Grabbing it While You Can

A Few Ups and Many Downs

Limbo

Pack Up Your Old Kit Bag

Salmon

Bananas

Religion

Football

Grateful

Yummy

Ate Two Caesar

Swine Pie

The Thai Rollercoaster

Stuck in the Middle

There's no Regrets

Profit and Loss

Running on Empty

Getting it out Your System

National Mistrust

Bring in the Old, Out with the New

Humility

I am Reviewing, My Situation...

Wat Phrabhat Nam Poo

Today I will Mostly be Eating...

Mortality

The Thai Experience

Wat Khaowong

Reality Bites

Wat Simalais

Amazing Thailand

He Must have a Big Wand

Right Place, Wrong Time

Carousel

Tin

And it does go on

Mangos

Bring Him Home

Resurgence

Protege

Listening to my Reader.

 

Archives

Diary Archive 18.

Diary Archive 17.

Diary Archive 16.

Diary Archive 15.

Diary Archive 14.

Diary Archive 13.

Diary Archive 12.

Diary Archive 11.

Diary Archive 10.

Diary Archive 9.

Diary Archive 8.

Diary Archive 7.

Diary Archive 6.

Diary Archive 5.

Diary Archive 4.

Diary Archive 3.

Diary Archive 2.

Diary Archive 1.

 

 

Nothing More to Say

 

Last night Ploy and I had a fight.

Ever since I met Ploy she has had this incendiary side to her character - she will just blow up over something, a small thing, usually justified, but out of all proportion to the cause. It goes almost as soon as it comes leaving you wondering if it actually happened at all.

I on the other hand have always bottled things up. Little things, little frustrations, accumulating as a little bile mountain inside me, waiting to erupt. The outbursts are infrequent, maybe once every two years, sometimes longer intervals. When they erupt they are memorable to bystanders.

In Thailand the bile mountain accumulates faster. Yesterday a hugely expensive piece of equipment of mine broke down and I am casually told it is obsolete and cannot be repaired. The electricity went off for 30 minutes just as I was measuring something. We are receiving pathetic excuses about the late payment of our first money. And it is visa time again and I am having to accumulate the mountain of forms required by the Thai embassy.

We are both over-tired and are both feeling the frustration of being so close yet still, apparently, so far.

So when Ploy blew up over the neighbour's constant parking of their car in front of our house so we cannot park, I blew up over the fact she blows up over such silly things. And so we conflagrated. As Ploy was coming down from her hillock of an outburst I was still rapidly ascending to my summit. Usually we make up within hours. But usually it is just one of us. Not this time. It is my fault; lack of anyone to talk to other than Ploy gives me no release, no-one to moan to over a beer which slowly dissipated the bile and kept it in check.

This time it feels different and Ploy is raking over her old grievances some of which I didn't know I had accumulated points for.

I have things to do. I have a ton of work to do without which we don't get the money but this episode has exhausted me and left me too weary to work. Ploy is out getting some company papers for my visa and Sunday I fly to Singapore. Almost immediately after I fly to Korea and Ploy is now saying she doesn't want to come with me. Maybe the break will do us some good but I don't like leaving with this dark cloud over us.

It is again over three weeks since I wrote in my diary. I am going to take a break. It has become a chore to write and I have more important things to do. The most important of these is to repair my marriage. And to do this I need to change. I need to find a life outside of work.

 

 

 

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